Don’t Ruin the Moment

Hey Y’all,

Timing can make or break a feedback moment. You can have the perfect framework and the right intentions, but if the timing is wrong, the message won’t land. It’ll bruise instead of build. And yes, I learned this the hard way.

EJ came home with ALL A’s on his progress report. We were celebrating hard with big smiles, and then I slipped in, “And you can raise that reading score too.” The joy on his face dropped. What I meant as encouragement landed as pressure. I stole his moment.

Leaders do this every day. A team wins a big contract, and we immediately point out what could’ve been better. Someone nails a presentation, and we follow it with, “Next time, try…” We turn victories into improvement plans before the win even gets to breathe. That’s not development. That’s poor timing disguised as feedback

RESOURCE

REVELATION

The Center for Leadership Excellence reminds us that feedback lands best when the timing is intentional, not impulsive. Effective leaders pause to read the emotional temperature, ensure the person is mentally available, and ask permission before diving in. They wait until the individual is regulated, focused, and not celebrating or stressed. By aligning feedback with a receptive moment—fresh enough to be relevant but calm enough to be heard—you transform the exchange from triggering to constructive, strengthening trust and impact.

REFLECTION

• When was the last time I rushed to give feedback instead of waiting for the person to be emotionally ready?

• How often do I check for permission or availability before offering critique?

• What signals do I typically ignore that tell me, “This is not the moment”?